


When We're Consciously Dreaming

by VeronAleen



Category: offgun
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Angst, Light Angst, Love Confessions, M/M, dream - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-04
Updated: 2020-08-04
Packaged: 2021-03-06 03:53:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,233
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25716853
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VeronAleen/pseuds/VeronAleen
Summary: Gun had always been an imaginative and curious person. He wonders about how majestic and enchanting the dreams are until he mustered up all the courage he has and jives into the preternatural world of Lucid Dreaming where he met Off Jumpol—a dreamer who happens to be in a coma for almost a year.This is a story of Off and Gun told in a series of nights of life realizations in the world of dreams; together.
Relationships: Off Jumpol Adulkittiporn/Gun Atthaphan Phunsawat
Comments: 5
Kudos: 46





	When We're Consciously Dreaming

_“Gun it’s now time to wake up dear. You’ll be late in your class”_

It took Gun minutes before he moves. He’s lying with his back on the soft surface of his bed; bigger than he expected to be given to him by his father. He looked at the clock hanging on his wall next to his window.

11:11 pm—he smiled bitterly. It was another dream of him listening to how his mom used to wake him up. He forcefully closes his eyes once again hoping that he’ll be able to continue his dream but to his dismay, he can’t go back anymore. He tried for a few more minutes, trying to clear his thoughts, trying to remember his mom’s bare face but all he can see is nothing. His mom is long gone and he couldn’t even know how she looks like anymore.

Gun sits on the edge of his bed. The room is cold not only because of the AC but also because it’s almost the start of “ber” months. Few more days and it's already Christmas; a day he doesn’t want to celebrate.

He stood up and walk towards his cabinet where he hides his small haul box which contains the memories he doesn’t want to forget. There he found the necklace with a star pendant his mom gave him when he’s still in grade school

_“Are you giving this to me?” Gun asks his mom. His deep dimples showing while looking at the necklace she was holding._

_“This one’s a gift for you” his mom placed it on his neck which fits him perfectly. The pendant is still obvious at the center of his clavicle despite of its small size. “This will serve as your guide to achieve your dreams”_

Gun smiled as he remembered what his mom told him. Until now, he isn’t sure what’s his dream and he doesn’t know how the necklace could help him. Sometimes, he wonders what it feels like to be good in everything because he never did. He’s just a common student who’s confused about life. It’s like he’s having existential crisis though he’s just a nineteen-year-old boy—too young to think about these kinds of things.

It’s been a while since he wore the necklace. At some point, it feels like it could choke him and he hates it but tonight is different. He would like to try something he never had done before, something that keeps on bugging him for a long time already. He isn’t sure what will happen but he would like to take a risk; maybe, just maybe, he could get something from it.

_“ **M** **om, guide me”**_ he said, as he kissed the pendant of his necklace and go back to sleep.

* * *

**“Who are you?”**

Off opened his eyes, still lying on the ground. It took him seconds before he realized that someone is asking him. He gazed in awe as he saw a boy facing him, covering the sunlight completely.

**“Hey, who are you?”** He now finally got back to his senses when he heard the voice for the second time which made him sit up immediately.

**“Is this real?”** he tried to pinch himself trying to feel something but he felt nothing. He looked at the boy once again. **“So, you’re just a dream? Why I don’t know you. I didn’t even think of you. Where did you come from?”** said he, scratching his head, trying to think why there’s a boy in front of him.

He saw how the boy chuckles. Off isn’t standing but he’s sure that he’s taller than him. **“I’m real”**

**“That’s impossible. I never met anyone here”** it’s true. Off had been going back and forth in this place but he never did meet anyone real. This place could be beyond someone’s imagination where you can go to places or meet people you’ve always wanted to see but you won’t be able to have a conversation with them. Unlike what most people thought it to be, dreamland is just like you’re in the 3D world. You’re aware of the people, but no one’s aware that you’re existing.

**“But I’m real,”** the boy said and gave him a sweet smile. **“So, is this the dream world? It looks dull unlike what I’ve expected”** The shorter sits on the ground next to him while looking on the bright sky **“I’m Gun, nice to meet you”**

**“I’m Off,”** he told him his name despite being curious about how he was able to meet him in this realm where everything and everyone is unreal, except for him and this boy – Gun.

* * *

Gun is playing with the bunnies down the hill. It’s been nights—not days, since his first visit and every time he was able to arrive, the place changes; something that really amazes him. Surely it isn’t something that he thought he’ll be able to control, unlike what’s written on the books he has read or even in the movies that he watched but this place feels like home to him. It’s peaceful and he won’t get tired of coming back and forth. He thought that maybe, his mind isn’t powerful enough to imagine things but at least, the place varies from night after night and he’s fine with that.

**“Hey Gun”** he heard a familiar voice. He was sure it’s the same boy he’s been accompanying since he discovered the place. After all, there were only two of them.

**“You’re back. Look, bunnies”** Gun happily greeted Off while he’s still looking at the small furry animals playing on the fresh green grass.

Off’s eyes followed the bunnies. He still wonders how these things exist. The truth is, he was never sure when he started to visit this place, everything is still a mystery for Off. He’s aware that he’s dreaming since he could still remember that incident who trapped him in a room where he visits whenever he’s awake—not actually awake because he cannot move at all, he cannot speak not give a response. So instead of being frustrated while lying on the bed, hearing the sounds of the machine which keeps him alive, he prefers to sleep and be here where he could run anytime, he wants.

**“Gun, do you know that bunnies symbolize fear?”** the shorter looked at him with curious eyes waiting for the next thing he’ll say **“They’re gentle and small but are defenseless. They have high anxiety and think that everything is a potential threat so they tend to bolt away when they find something or someone coming on their way”** Off added.

**“Then I could be a bunny,”** said Gun as he plucks the green grass on the ground, offering it to the bunnies. **“I’m defenseless, I suffer from anxiety, but could still be open to someone who’s genuine”**

**“Really? Who could that be?”**

_**“It’s you, Off”** _

* * *

_**“Are you dead?”** _

Off didn’t expect that question from Gun. He’s been meeting him for a while now, more than a month maybe, he already lost count of the days but he’s enjoying the boy’s company.

**“How can you tell if someone is still alive?”** instead of answering Gun’s question, he gave him another question not that because he doesn’t want to give an answer to the latter’s obvious question but rather, he would like to know how Gun sees life since he hasn’t seen the real world for a long time. He had been staying in his white room for a long time and he could say that he’s already dead. He’s sure that the boy could agree with him but he still thought that maybe, they could have a different point of views and his curiosity keeps on telling him to know more about what the boy is thinking.

**“If he’s breathing?”** Off stared at Gun whose eyes are fixed on the river flowing in front of them—a view that no one in the real world will be able to witness; clear water, mossy stones on the riverside, fishes that could be a good catch. **“Nope, probably no. not all which are breathing are alive”**

**“What do you mean by that?”** Off asked, waiting for the next words to be produced by Gun’s lips.

**“There are people who are still breathing but are dead inside. They’re probably aren’t aware but they’re already dead; dead passion, dead love, dead dreams. I believe that once you decided to kill those three, you’re already considered dead. No matter how much you breathe, you’ll still gasp for air, your lungs won’t be satisfied, your mind will be dead and your heart will eventually stop beating. So, I think, someone is alive if those three are still working on his system”**

Silence envelopes the place, but it isn’t as bad as Off expected it to be. He can clearly hear the gushing sound of the river’s water, the chirping of the birds now staying on a branch of a tree, and the sound of the leaves dancing along with the wind.

**“So, answer me Off, are you dead?”**

Off faced Gun. His answer will be different from what he wanted to say earlier because, at some point, he realized that there’s still another one which keeps him going despite the fact that he killed the other two; passion and love, long time ago, he still has a dream and even until now, he’s still dreaming.

_**“Well I guess, I’m still alive”** _

* * *

Off had been waiting for Gun every night since their first meeting. He isn’t someone sentimental and he never did but these past three months, he keeps on finding himself looking for the boy who happens to be the only real thing he could see and talk to—someone whom he can tell things without being judged. He grows fond of him probably because of his cute expressions whenever they are talking or maybe, because of the way how the boy views the world, inside or outside the dream.

**“Oh! you’re here, I was looking for you since earlier. I thought you’re gone”** there was a sudden change of tone on Gun’s voice. It became softer than his usual voice but Off didn’t give too much attention. He was just happy that Gun’s now with him again.

**“I told you, I’m still trapped in my room and there’s no way for me to get out because I can’t even open my eyes”**

Gun nods as a response. He doesn’t like the fact that he’s hearing these things from Off. He doesn’t want to tell the taller how much he reminds him of his mom. Gun could barely remember the face of his mom but the feeling and memories are still vivid. Just like Off, Gun’s mom is someone who is always calm. He never saw her crying nor angry, a behavior he observed from Off since the first time they’ve met. Gun never thought that he’ll lose his mom because she never showed any signs of being sick until one Christmas Night, his dad told him that she’s gone which made him hate Christmas so much.

**“What’s your dream, Off”** Gun randomly asks him while looking at the sky painted by dashes of pink, purple and blue. The place is soulful—safe and sound and for Off, Gun’s presence made it a lot better.

**“I want to live,”** said Off while tracing the stars created by their imagination, forming a shape he doesn’t even know if existing in the real world. **“I want to get out of my white room”**

Off’s life had always been dull and bland. He envied others because of how fair life is to them—having a complete family, a wealthy living, lovely friends; everything that Off never had which always slap him the fact that he was never anyone’s favorite, not even the creator. Much worse to this is him being in a coma for almost a year because of being hit by a car one rainy night. Something he never thought as the best way to end his life.

**“That’s simple,”** Gun said, now standing in front of him smiling with his deep dimples showing on both of his cheeks

**“How?”** He asked, confused but curious as he looked at the boy straight to his eyes

**“Dream with me, Off. Let’s dream together”** Off couldn’t do anything when Gun grabbed his hand and drag him **“This is the place where you could be anything you want. Off, in this place, you’re alive and you’re out of your white room, so dream with me and I’ll stay with you”**

This is the first time Off had heard the words he had been longing to hear—I’ll stay with you; which made a tear fell on his eyes without him realizing it.

* * *

_**“Have you ever liked someone, Gun?”** _

Off’s currently lying on the ground. He’s using Gun’s thigh as a pillow while the latter plays with his hair.

**“I did when I was seventeen”** Off hums as a response. He already expected this from the boy but he still wanted to make sure and now that he already got the answer, he would like to dig more about that person Gun used to like.

**“Tell me more, I’m curious”**

**“What would you like to know?”**

**“Anything you would like me to know about that person”** Off doesn’t want to get too personal despite him being curious, he believes that there are things that people would like to keep on their sleeves and he doesn’t want to invalidate someone’s emotion just because he would like to satisfy himself especially since it’s Gun, the boy who is keeping him sane.

**“First of all, he isn’t a girl”** Gun looked at Off trying to check his reaction but it seems like Off doesn’t care about his sexual preference which made him smile as he continues **“I’ve met him when I was still in high school. He was popular and it isn’t something unexpected; he’s good looking, he’s tall and smart. Someone who’s out of my league”**

**“Were you able to date him?”** Off asked as he moves to sit next to Gun.

**“Yes, for a short time. After I had a misunderstanding with one of his friends, he eventually got cold towards me until he told me that we should just break up** ” Off saw how Gun’s face changed from being excited to being sad but he just let him continue his story

**“At first, I thought I’ve just wasted my days with him because he never listened to my explanation but in the end, I realized that maybe, I wasn’t just enough for him. Sometimes, we invest too much to someone we thought will stay with us only to get broken at the end but then, I remember how my mom told me before that in order for you to be truly loved by someone, you need to be broken first. In that way, you’ll be able to know who will be brave enough to pick up your broken pieces and bleed just to fix you again”**

Everything that Off heard from Gun is something he never thought of. He’s now twenty-one but he was sure he never liked someone. Before he was hit by a car, he was just a jerk who always isolates himself because he never believed in the word Love. His parents never showed him what love is since he never had a complete family. His mom and dad always fight because of minimal reasons until his dad left them saying he’s tired of their family and he hates being with his mom. But for some reason, hearing these words from Gun made him realized something. He would like to be that someone who is willing to bleed just to pick his broken pieces because he knows that Gun will also do the same for him.

**“Gun, I never liked anyone so I don’t know what I should say”** He saw how Gun turn his gaze to him, his eyes still look sad because of the memory he just reminisced. **“But do you know what, now I have someone whom I think I like”** Off smiled at the boy who is sitting next to him.

**“Who? You never leave your room”** Gun asked, his brows arching as he waits for Off’s answer to his question.

_**“You. I think I like you Gun”** _

* * *

**“Hey Merry Christmas”**

This will be the first time Gun will be celebrating Christmas after his mom died. He shouldn’t be happy but at some point, he decided that he should celebrate it with Off. Aside from this, he’ll be celebrating Christmas in the dreamland which makes it more special.

Tonight is different from the other nights he had spent in the place; there’s snow and it’s his first time to see it but since he’s now in a different world, he doesn’t feel any cold at all so he enjoys it very much.

**“Would you like to fly?”** Off asked him smiling with a snowball on his hands. Flying isn’t something Gun thought of trying not because he’s afraid of heights. He just doesn’t like the thought that he could fall at any time. He was afraid that it'll hurt him or will break his bones that's why he never thought of riding an airplane before

**“I’ve never thought of that”** he answered him honestly **"I'm actually afraid to fall"**

**“We could fly in this place if you would like to try”** Off held his hand, there’s a warm feeling when they locked their hands together and that time, he felt safe. **“Should we?”** Gun nods and both of them closed their eyes until they felt like they’re floating. Both of them couldn't feel the ground of their feet anymore

**“Open your eyes”** He heard Off and so he slowly opens his eyes and there he saw a view he won’t be able to see in real life. Flying isn’t scary at all; he was able to see the endless place of dreams he always wanted to see. In this place, he can touch the sky. Everything might not be real but the feeling is real. He likes it and maybe one of these days, he'll ask off to do this again.

**“How were you able to do it?”** Gun asked still amazed at what he’s seeing right now.

**“We’re in a dream have you forgotten?”** Off answered.

But the truth is, Off would like to say more. Right now, he has all three; passion, dream, and love—he could only think of one name with those three words

**_GUN_ **

* * *

_**“I don’t think you’ll be able to see me anymore”** _

Off faced Gun, his face isn’t showing any emotion. He doesn’t want Gun to see how hard it is for him to tell those words.

**“What do you mean?”** Gun is confused. His heart beating fast as if it would like to get out of his chest. This is the first time for him to Off this serious

**“I heard from the nurses that my mom agreed and signed the waiver to remove my life support. It’s been a year and my body’s already failing”** Off tried to smile but he couldn’t hide the emotion he’s been bottling since yesterday. Today will be their last night together. Despite being in each other’s’ company, Gun never asked which hospital Off was admitted and right now, he’s regretting that he never did.

Gun wanted to say lots of things to Off like how happy he was to meet someone like him, or how lucky he is to be with Off for these past few months while they enjoy their own world together. He keeps on swallowing the lump on his throat trying his best to choose the best words to use to avoid being dramatic. He then looked at his chest realizing he’d been wearing the necklace his mom had given him. He carefully removed it and place it on Off’s neck.

**“Why are you giving this to me?”** Gun stared at the small star pendant now hanging on Off’s neck

**“My mom told me that it’s a guide for me to find my dreams”** He paused for a while, he feels like his throat is too dry but he still manages to continue **“You’ll be leaving now, so you better have this to guide you on your way just like how it guided me to you”** Gun’s tears finally starts to run down his cheeks. He never thought that this will be their ending.

After months of being with Off, Gun could say that he realized and experienced lots of things he never thought he could do. It was a roller coaster ride of emotion. He never enjoyed swimming because he keeps on sinking but he was able to enjoy it when he was with Off. He never drove a car before because he was afraid that he'll get into an accident, killed someone, and be labeled as a mad man who runs over innocent civilians but Off helped him to be more confident until he was able to drove his dad's car in real life. Gun was also afraid of the forest, he always thought that forests aren't safe but when he was with Off, he was able to appreciate the beauty of nature and he was glad that he gave himself a chance to try it. Lastly, Off made him realize that he was worthy and he's enough; that there will always be someone who's willing to take the risk just to fix you and give you the things you deserve.

They might have met in a place that no one knows existing. Everything might just be created by imagination but the feelings and emotion they had shown and given to each other were genuine; more real than the fake ones on the real world and though it may sound so ironic, both of them felt like the dream world gave them the most real things they could ever imagine. 

**“I’ll keep this until my last breath”** Off embraced Gun for the last time. He doesn’t want to let go of him but he knows that it’ll be harder for both of them if he’ll just vanish in front of Gun so as much as he would like to hug him longer, Off was the first one to let go. 

**“I’m sorry I couldn’t keep my promise to stay with you, Off”** Gun's eyes are now puffy because of him continuously crying. he would like to stop his tears from falling but no matter how much try, or tell himself to stop, he just can't and it just made him feel worse.

**“You did, Gun, and I thank you for that”** Off said to him, trying to compose himself. He never felt like this before when he was staying in the dream world. He never felt anything before, most specifically, pain and heartbreak. He never thought that it'll hurt like this

**“So, this is how we’re going to end?”** Gun asked the final question and Off just nod as he walks away from Gun his steps are heavy but his heart is heavier. Tonight, he'll be facing something he never thought he'll be afraid of- death

* * *

**“Gun what are you doing?”** He heard how Oab speaks to him in a mad tone. It’s been days and Gun still couldn’t get over his dream. He keeps on seeing a man but the face isn’t visible so he couldn’t recognize him and his thought about the dream is now affecting the way he works on his project with Oab.

**“Sorry, I was just thinking about something”** Oab sighed and looked at him worriedly. He can clearly see how Gun is being troubled by thoughts. He's been like this for few days already but Oab cannot ask him directly about his problem

**“You should go home Gun. You don’t look well”**

Gun agreed to Oab and left as fast as he could. He isn’t sure why he’s in a hurry but there’s some strong force which drives him to go to the nearest bus station. He looked at his neck and he still wonders where did he lose his necklace which he was just wearing earlier. It’s important to him for him because his mom just gave it to him last week and surely, his mom will kill him. He took the empty seat, bows his head, and waited for his bus to arrive.

**“Umm, hello. Is this yours?”** he lifts up his head and the familiar necklace with a small star pendant. It was the same necklace his mom gave him which he lost earlier. He immediately grabbed the necklace without even looking to the person who gave it to him.

**“I saw how it fell earlier but you walk too fast. I was just lucky that you’re wearing the same uniform in my university so I thought I could find you. Such a coincidence to see you here”**

Gun finally faced the guy. Just like what he said, they’re wearing the same uniform. Gun stared at him for a moment trying to remember if he had seen him before—his hair brushed up, his creaseless eyes look so familiar to him.

**“Nice to meet you”** the guy offered his hand for a handshake

_**“I’m Off. Off Jumpol”** _

**Author's Note:**

> I've never thought of writing something like this especially since I never wrote something in full English like this but I should say, It's challenging though I wasn't able to sleep just to finish writing this. I hope you enjoyed this fanfic. I would like to say sorry for the grammatical errors or misspellings I've committed. I don't have enough time to proofread any more. Here's my twitter account in case you would like to reach me (VeronAleen). Thank You very much


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